Things I’ve Learned in My 36 Years of Life So Far

Vanessa Hinojosa
8 min readDec 6, 2023
A selfie of me with text reading “It’s my birthday!!!” and a sticker of a lit candle, shaped like the number 36.

In my 36 years of life, so far, I’ve realized… HOW IGNORANT I WAS, GROWING UP! I’m not saying “I should have listened to my mommy”. No! I’m saying I should have read more, researched more, and taken the time to speak with the elderly and gain some fricken wisdom from them! Ugh. Well here goes. Time for me to try to… bestow upon you some of my… finite… wisdom? Anyway….

What is Love?

Well, it’s not rushed. I’ll tell you that for free.

Most people believe it’s this magical, sparkly feeling…. IT’S NOT. That is called attraction. You know how magnets are ATTRACTED to each other? Yeah. That’s what that is. It’s not love.

“Ooh! I love their hair!” “I love their scent.” “I love their smile.”

Tell me something. What’s their love language? What’s their trauma that you’ve been able to help them through? (No, I don’t mean changing a person. That’s something that happens when the person WANTS it.) What’s their eye color? What’s in their heart? What are their life’s aspirations? How’s their motivation game? What’s their life plan? How do they see themselves?

Love isn’t attraction. It comes from the heart, but it’s more what you do. (Not “do for them”.) Think of this:

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Vanessa Hinojosa
Vanessa Hinojosa

Written by Vanessa Hinojosa

🌻 ADHD stay-at-home mom 🦸🏽‍♀️ Helping average people make money from home 💻 Create an online business from scratch

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