Why I Can’t Tell My Husband Everything
Being married means sharing everything… but what if you just can’t?
We’ve been married for 5 years and we’ve learned a lot!
We’ve learned much about each other’s likes and dislikes, how to help each other, how our bad habits affect each other, and even our joint bad habits and guilty pleasures. It goes without saying that we’ve even learned what makes each other happy.
Through our ups and downs, we’ve worked through everything from insecurities to internal battles to — dare I say — dishes. (Yes. We’re that couple who absolutely abhors doing the dishes.)
Recently, though, there’s been a new development. Something that we can’t seem to work through: we just aren’t interested in each other’s obsessions.
If I’m going on about an Asian drama that I’m interested in, anything relating to The Disney Company or its fan base, or even Sailor Moon… my husband essentially remains expressionless as he “yeah”s and “uh-huh”s. Then he turns around to laugh at or get sucked into whatever video he’s watching on his phone.
On the other hand, my husband can go on forever on certain wrestlers expecting me to remember everyone’s names, faces, stats, signature moves, and moments that they’re most known for and I either start dozing off or I respond with, “Hm. Okay.” Then I watch clips from shows, movies, or games. It really bothers him.
So how do we handle this misfire in communication? Easy. We keep our obsessions to ourselves. Here’s what I mean:
I have to talk about new information relating to my obsessions. The thing is as I got older, I realized that I have less and less time to talk to friends and family about these things. There’s the internet, though. Ew. But I don’t like being on camera, though. There’s a reason I deleted my TikTok account. (I was so sick of the brain rot and stupidity and it was wrecking my peace.) But I can write about it. People don’t really care about what I care about, though. Then I realized that people don’t have to. If no one reads my content, I can’t embarrass myself, right?
So instead of boring my husband with things he doesn’t care about, I’ll just write about it. If people read it, cool. If not… oh well. But at least it’s out of my system and I don’t have to go on and on about it.
What about my husband, though? Well, here’s the thing… he’s neurotypical and I’m neurodivergent. I have to overshare with anyone and everyone. He’s not like that. He keeps to himself, but if he sees a like-minded person WATCH OUT! The conversation won’t end soon enough.
So yeah. I think I’ve figured out what I’ll be talking about on here:
EVERYTHING.
